Posts

Dream

After all these months, I finally dreamt of you. I dreamt of us, the way I wanted us to be. It was a sweet dream then I woke up, realizing it was actually a nightmare because I can never have you. I took a deep breath and exhaled disbelief, the disbelief that I finally dreamt of you after all these time. Next breath I smiled a little as I exhaled, the dream was too good, it was everything I wanted. The next breath i choked a little when I inhaled and exhaled all my disappointment and the pain that unknowingly built up in me. I fell back into that dark pit I struggled to escape from. That dark pit thats filled with us, the happy us, the sad us, just us. I hear your laughter in my head and tears swelled. Oh how I miss that wonderful sound. I miss you so much. I miss you and I want to continue dreaming you, I want to be saturated with you so I will never forget you, not one bit. I'm holding on to you, wondering if I meant this much to you and in the process, I'm breaking myself bu

Powerful

I knew. I knew perfectly well who he was. I knew. I knew exactly what he was trying to do. Perhaps I was blinded, perhaps I was not. Perhaps I chose to see the good in him despite all the bad he'd shown. Perhaps I was hoping for something from him and I was searching something in him. I saw what I was looking for in him and that idea of him intrigued me and boy, it was damn attractive. We could be an almost, but we were nothing. When you held my hands, you felt like an almost. When your eyes lit up when I laughed at your joke, you felt like an almost. When you look me in the eyes and told me I was beautiful, you felt like an almost. But there was nothing in the end. Maybe there was something or maybe it's all played out in my head. But in the end, nothing. When you made me wait, I felt like nothing. When you diss me, I felt like nothing. When you left, I felt like nothing. I'm sorry how things turned out to be. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for letting

Connect

My job satisfaction not only comes from see ing my patients get well, but also it comes from their smiles, every "thank you", every touch. It comes from all the relationships I'm building with my fellow colleagues too. Getting to know someone can be tedious but I'd learned that all that hard work is worth it. I think this is why we meet people in our lives, some we meet are blessings, others as lessons we learned too late. For the better or worse, I think our very presence in someone else's life can be life changing enough. We engage and connect in various depth and how can two different beings not affect each other's thoughts and perceptions. & its two ways. Love, connection and trust between people goes both ways. Closed minded and closed hearted people cannot gain from those around them, and only with an open heart & mind can we truly be free and gain in life. My personal success is measured by the amount of people's life I've touched and

Courage

Sometimes courage is not loud. It is not bold and it does not necessarily be shown by doing something great. Having courage doesn't mean you have to stand up against people. It doesn't mean you have to be fearless. Having courage doesn't require you to be brave. Sometimes courage is that small quiet thought which comforts your mind. Sometimes its that small voice which whispers, telling you that everything's gonna be okay despite all that has happened. Sometimes courage is closing your eyes, taking that deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds, exhaling and finally telling yourself to move on. Sometimes courage is finally allowing those memories to wake you up, allowing those tears to flow down your cheeks for that one last time and allowing that pain to wash you clean. Have that courage to step of denial. Have that courage to stop making excuses for people. Have that courage to open up your eyes to see the full picture. Have that courage to set yourself free.
I can safely say that I am officially the mother of all fucked ups. What more can I say...

Fearless

Psalms 27:14

Overcast

I just want somebody to prove me wrong. I don't want to be right, not on this one. I can't even find someone to blame, nobody but myself. It's like all of a sudden, you're caught in a situation and I don't have that kind of courage to rise up to it. Dreams, for two straight nights, damn it's scary. When was the last time this happened. Everyone's looking for something. I just hope you find what you're looking for.