Powerful

I knew. I knew perfectly well who he was. I knew. I knew exactly what he was trying to do. Perhaps I was blinded, perhaps I was not. Perhaps I chose to see the good in him despite all the bad he'd shown. Perhaps I was hoping for something from him and I was searching something in him. I saw what I was looking for in him and that idea of him intrigued me and boy, it was damn attractive.

We could be an almost, but we were nothing. When you held my hands, you felt like an almost. When your eyes lit up when I laughed at your joke, you felt like an almost. When you look me in the eyes and told me I was beautiful, you felt like an almost. But there was nothing in the end. Maybe there was something or maybe it's all played out in my head. But in the end, nothing. When you made me wait, I felt like nothing. When you diss me, I felt like nothing. When you left, I felt like nothing.

I'm sorry how things turned out to be. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for letting myself down. I think about you everyday. I find myself going back to my happy place, thoughts of you and you. I find myself smiling and then the pain hits me. We can never go back to how we were. You came like a hurricane and left me wrecked. Your name still wears me down, my heart ached and tears fall but you will never know.

I found what I want in you but I will never have you. Bittersweet. I hope you will find what you're looking for.