so let it be



I feel so alone
& I'm leaving for good

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364/365

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This year is ending, finally. Frankly speaking, it sucks. To prove, read all my 2010 entries and try comparing it with 09 or 08. Seriously, sucky ttm. I have many regrets in life, I don't deny that there have been good times during this year but the bad times override it, makes the good times look tiny, insignificant. Good or bad, I've survived, though barely but I did. The last year in school, or so I thought until I found out that I'm gonna graduate in Sept due to a forward module which is like lameshittothemax. So yeah I'm wasting my time now doing one module which is going to end in 3days time while the rest of the batch is doing their PRCP now. Sigh. School sucked but on the other hand competitions were awesome. WSapiens rock seriously even though the trainings are tougher than hell but the feeling on top of the podium is undescribable. Next is KOI, something good I would say. Met some pretty awesome people there and now I know why people can be so into work cause ...
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Strong hearts

Can one walk on coals, And his feet not be seared? -Proverbs 6:28 (NKJV) How apt. I rendered myself powerless when I decided to go for it and yet again I am helpless against this pretty hopeless situation. I got myself stuck again. I knew the risks, the rules of the game and the potential harm. Yet I dived straight in, like moths attracted to light, like Icarus flying too close to the sun, burnt so bad but I'm still craving for more. This is so powerful but its so sick. I fight my demons the moment I wake, I fight the urge, some days I survived, some I succumbed... This is messy, maybe it's just me. I know there shouldn't be any regrets but I shouldn't have made that decision in the first place. There's no going back, no redos, just moving forward. What a painful lesson this is going to be.  Lord, heal me, bless me, guard me from those demons out there. I pray for their wellness, Lord make me strong, again. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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hmm. doing the hitting. but i finished le. ON GUARD position!!! :) waha. this ish us doing a bit of part 1. but without the planks!!! :) hmm. todae is obviously veh fun. did lotsa things today!!! firstly.. went to skool for my combat training. as usual. did warm up first.. which was 4 COUNTS OF 50 JUMPING JACK [ or izzit 50 counts of 4] ??? and 20 PUMPINGS!!! lols. shoo tired. dammit shaun!! lols. no la. no offence ya?? den we change almost all the perfomance. shoo now the performance consists of part 1: the planks. part 2: police and theives. and part 3: individual performance. hahas. i kinda involved in all. i am the timer so my job is veh super duper impt!! den all the CUTCUT stuffs. UP.DOWN.ON GUARD. lols. we got the music. thanks to bruno and jeremy!! den all the parts thanks to SIR ZAKI, SIR CALVIN and SIR SHAUN [sounds abit strange of shaun] (^o^) lols. nvm. we sort of perfect out everything. den i learned lotsa new stuffs. but got lotsa injuries too. lols. my hand!! shoo pain...
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