It's amazing much how hurt words could bring and physical pain that one can feel reaches a point when nothing could be done to relieve it. You would just want to sit down and stare into blank space. There's no fighting back the tears, more just kept pouring down. This is love. Affected by something so minor, it could be ignored by others but no, I did not choose to bother, my heart did. And people say follow your heart.
Strong hearts
Can one walk on coals, And his feet not be seared? -Proverbs 6:28 (NKJV) How apt. I rendered myself powerless when I decided to go for it and yet again I am helpless against this pretty hopeless situation. I got myself stuck again. I knew the risks, the rules of the game and the potential harm. Yet I dived straight in, like moths attracted to light, like Icarus flying too close to the sun, burnt so bad but I'm still craving for more. This is so powerful but its so sick. I fight my demons the moment I wake, I fight the urge, some days I survived, some I succumbed... This is messy, maybe it's just me. I know there shouldn't be any regrets but I shouldn't have made that decision in the first place. There's no going back, no redos, just moving forward. What a painful lesson this is going to be. Lord, heal me, bless me, guard me from those demons out there. I pray for their wellness, Lord make me strong, again. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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