All these training sessions made all my flabby muscles ache. Seriously, I'm feeling the stress. It's the kind of feeling over at NUS and Nationals again. I started biting again. Event list for this weekend is out. Saw some familiar names from both ex-SASA and Lifesaving, feeling even more stressful. Comparing their timings and mine, I feel demoralised. Why the hell do I stopped SASA trainings years back? It will only be another day till my doomsday at Toa Payoh Pool. I can visualize myself, reaching the sensor last, making a big fool out of myself for both events. I missed the last training before IVP, I missed all training sessions for 3 whole weeks, I missed out precious self-training sessions due to laziness, I deserve to get last for all my events. I want to do what ShiRui did last IVP- Jump down from the 10m board. Thinking of the mishaps that may occur during my event, I cannot sleep. (My goggles might snapped. My cap maight slipped. My start-off will be bad. I might run out of air underwater after start-off. I might get disqualified due to lousy surfacing. I might get disqualified due to the two hand surface. I might breathe in water while swimming. The sun might be too glaring. I might bang into the lane-dividers. My legs might cramp. I might miss-count my strokes. I might not be able to do my back tumble-turn. I might turn too close to the wall. I might turn too early, not close enough to kick off from the wall. I might be disqualified doing the wrong tumble-turn. I might drink water during the tumble-turn. I might not have enough air to do underwater kicks long enough. I might be worn-out after 50m. I might not have the strength to continue. I might hit my head against the wall.) Excuses.

On the lighter note, He is done with his exams. When he's busy, I'm free. When I'm busy, he's free. Funny how fate toys with people's life and feelings. Funny how love tortures the one you love. Funny how lust makes you lose the trust you have for someone.

I seriously needs to quit biting. For all who know me, you guys should know what I bite. I hate it. But I can't help it.

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