Candiesforyou

I push people away. Sometimes it hurts so bad but still you just wanna hold on to it and let the pain go on. And is heartache considered an emotional pain or physical pain? Somatic maybe, but I was on the verge of giving up. Too tired of everything that's been happening in my life. Cause I had enough of heartaches and tears flowing down my cheeks unknowingly. The grass is always greener on the other side. I was determined, then my heart took over my head. The saying 'Follow your heart' is pathetic. I'm a believer of 'Nothing is forever'. Now I'm losing all my hopes and faith. I don't wanna believe anymore. The more I care, the more hurt I'll get. Being selfless is killing me slowly but over the years I've learnt not to be selfish and that's that. I admit that I'm incapable of change. I hoped to be accepted for who I am and what I am. All the good and bad comes in a package. Really stop trodding on ego and esteem, they're about to be e

My first three days at KOI was pretty awesome. I did hours of standing and basically my whole body is aching like mad. Can fight with nursing, just much cleaner. Hmm anyway first day was better. Easy and slack but second day was ordering. Quite shitty. The whole queue was long, and it became longer cause of me, I'm too slow seriously. But today was alright. Quite getting the hang of it already. And I had free KOI until I'm gonna be sick of it already. And don't forget the fats ohhh-emmm-geeeeeee ttm. Anyway was supposed to chill with youseeme and tlp but she couldn't make it last minute so its me and youseeme again. We walked around Bugis, had Ajisen Ramen and KOI ice cream milk tea. Then went Bugis street and I saw a long sleeve button shirt which I like. But its overpriced for Bugis street items. Hmm maybe after payday, which is like three more days! Hehe! :) anyway then I went to work. Now on my way home and got another cup of KOI. Tmrw is off-day and woots I'm m

Well I hope that I will stop eating this much and I really hope my tummy to be flatter like the post break-up period. The appetite or rather urge to eat everything sucks. Now this time I'm seriously gonna go train those adipose away. Freaking irritating when I wear my suit or shirt. Plus those on my legs, eye-sore! And I don't get why fat people can don't care about their weight and continue eating. Sometimes when I buy clothes, I get demoralized when I need to try on a M or L cause my shoulders are too broad, my thighs too thick. And tomorrow is training day again, hopefully I will attend training. Motivation and discipline levels go way down as competitions just ended and the next one would be in next year. Very complacent I know and I hate to be complacent. It usually comes with a price. Also tomorrow will be running with MrKwa, Weilun and Huabin! So yay? Well I will certainly get my lazy ass down there and run, at least jog a 5km. Anyhoo I hope all my debtors would retu

First day of school was crappy, cause I only had two hours of lecture. And that's all the lectures I'm gonna have every week. Sleep-deprived, very. Meeting back schoolmates were great, now it's all left with the few of us and now I think its till death do us apart. We've got no one else but us. And like nobody can stop a guy from watching pornography, you can't stop a Cherlyn from skipping lectures. I did today! :) to have lunch at North and it was too early for me! Thus I ate many many junkie junk junk today. But it was therapy I guess. Cause itchy backside me went to find Doris again despite me knowing the answer. Well I should be spanked on the butt. Cause I went boohoo after that. Then I was mad at everyone else and I felt lousy and fat with more and more boohoos. But then xoxo, Gossip Girl cheered me up and I'm exhausted now. Anyhoo, what did I do for the past week. Passed BTT with an amazing score of 48! on Wed. :D Successful shopping trip/catching up sess

Hi everyone. I'm supposed to be asleep as tmrw is an important day for me. But I'm suffering from a serious case of insomnia. Lately I have difficulty faLling asleep, its not like I'm gieeting enough rest you see. Sigh. I'm tired and I wanna rest badly but why the hell can't I fall asleep! Its very frustrating! Everytime I close my eyes, my mind starts thinking of some nonsense like how to make more money (wtf) and how to become skinny (wtfwtf) like what exercise shall I do so I can slim down asap (wtfwtfwtf). Its so lame seriously. And I get palpitations, damn loud my pulse when I close my eyes and try to blank my mind. Zzzzzzz! My bioclock spoil like mad already seriously. I've got comfy bed, two soft pillows, blanket, my baby bloster to hug, dark and quiet environment, aircon plus fan somemore! Why not enough for me to sleep. And plus the fact that I'm dead tired? Why is my mind so awake now? Think is post studying. My mind still having holiday (wp). I ne

HELLO EVERYONE, I MISS G ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT! :D

I wish I had the flithy rich life like some people I know, I want to travel around the world, visit places far away and escape from this tiny island. I once did a list of top fifteen places I would like to visit when I grow up and the top fifteen things I wanna do. Now its buried deep under by the recent posts, if you are curious, find it :) Sigh anyway I was thinking too much again. I wish my brain has a shutdown button so when I can just stop thinking about anything. I need a break seriously. But again, like my break isn't long enough. Okayy I have no idea what I'm blabbering about.

Finally I'm able to post from bb. And I think there's something wrong with my bb already. Maybe one day I should do master reset and clear all the stuff inside. Maybe it will 'revive' my bb. But then again everything would be gone and it's gonna be a hassle loading them into bb again. :/ Anyway I'm now on the train home from yishun. Yes training just ended not long ago and I'm physically and mentally drained. Well see I was aching badly from Wednesday's session then today coach make us do the same sets again. It's not tough but the aches made everything tougher than normal. Especially the sit ups, I doubt I can sit up from bed tomorrow morning. But nevermind, all for next year, 7 more months to the next competition. Hmm and now should I get dinner? :/

Back to training, it feels so good to be moving freely in the waters again. We did stroke work just now and it suited me just right. Usually first training after long MIA would be toughshit but today's was just right. Cords didn't really tire me out much and surprisingly it was pretty easy. Swimming after falling ill feels refreshing, especially the regaining of stamina without any wheezing! :) And I did not complain at all! It was job well done today to all who attended training. Alright I'm actually feeling lazy to update my blog. Partially because I'm not always online now and bb has some problems with the entering of posts to blogger. All is well except the kachings. It has always been the problem and it always will be. I shall stop procrastinating and give yami a call tomorrow. If I get it, then I wouldn't be so tight. :) Ohhhh and I want my M&S extremely chocolately rings! Back to GG, xoxo

MARKS & SPENCER'S EXTREMELY CHOCOLATELY RINGS !!! VERY NICE !!!!!!!! :D