I push people away. Sometimes it hurts so bad but still you just wanna hold on to it and let the pain go on. And is heartache considered an emotional pain or physical pain? Somatic maybe, but I was on the verge of giving up. Too tired of everything that's been happening in my life. Cause I had enough of heartaches and tears flowing down my cheeks unknowingly. The grass is always greener on the other side. I was determined, then my heart took over my head. The saying 'Follow your heart' is pathetic.

I'm a believer of 'Nothing is forever'. Now I'm losing all my hopes and faith. I don't wanna believe anymore. The more I care, the more hurt I'll get. Being selfless is killing me slowly but over the years I've learnt not to be selfish and that's that.

I admit that I'm incapable of change. I hoped to be accepted for who I am and what I am. All the good and bad comes in a package. Really stop trodding on ego and esteem, they're about to be extinct in me. So I do comparisons, so what! I can't help it. Take it or leave it I guess.

Again, I don't think I'm capable of change. Outside yes, inside no.

Sent from Blackberry Wireless Handheld.

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