Anguished



On and on people around you make an impact in your life, some did just earlier on today. I was totally disappointed with myself cause I could not exercise self-discipline and let people down. They trusted me and I broke my own promises, such a let down. I couldn't get pass my own conscience. I'm gonna be nineteen soon, I should be mature and responsible enough, for this is the path that I chose, this is what I love isn't it. Why is this happening, urghhh. Tension is building up inside me, it's a week away and I do not expect much from myself cause I've really been slacking much ever since June. I'm such a waste, I'm such a let down. Fuck seriously why am I doing all these nonsense to make me feel so fucking disappointed with myself. Fml seriously.

Don't tell me it's okay cause it's definitely not, wait till sunday. I'm pretty sure I will have an emotional breakdown, it's a standard routine during compeition for me to cry. Cause I care why too much and put in way too little effort.

Fucktard.

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