Crushed.

Life isn't sad at all, the eally sad part about it is knowing that the one who screwing up your life is yourself. It has always been me. And the good old brains took so long to process, after all the losses and unnecessary unhappiness. I hope I'm not too late. It's not the same anymore, the feeling is growing and it's taking control. Same old, follow your heart cause whatever your brain thinks, your heart will know that it's a lie cause it's your heart that feels the pain, not your brain. Crushed and cast aside, it's all I deserve. Happiness appears to be within reach and opps, I'd totally missed out that thick glass wall in front of me. Fate is toying with me, playing with my feelings. I'm dying inside, really. When I thought everything is going well, something just had to come and bring me down. It's a routine I guess, I really shouldn't get too comfortable with my life. Sometimes I wish I can tear myself, take the bloody heart out and throw it away. Yes I won't be able to feel anything, not happiness but also, no more heartaches. I can totally live with it, emotionless, at least it doesn't hurt that bad. But I'm willing to endure it all, it's worth (I hope, I really hope and can only hope). Pathetic you are damn pathetic.

I just want to be alone and cry my hearts out. Even though it doesn't solve anything, I would feel better, maybe it's just me. And I thought I'm supposed to stay happy and be happy, why am I crying again.

You should try reading my tumblr, sometimes I say the unspoken there.