Runaway

Yesterday I had someone asked me why am I so happy everyday & I replied "why not?" with hell loads of swag I feel. Ever since I walked out of my old life, ever since I returned from Australia in March, people have been saying I'm happy, really truly happy. I also had told me that he is living his life vicariously through mine & someone told me that if she could live her life the way she wanted it to be, it would be my life. I would thank them and ask them to do themselves a favour to live life the way they want to, yadayada but I do feel empty at times. What if all that I am showing is just a facade? I do feel the negativity trying to overcome me and yes I have difficulty suppressing those awful emotions, all the time. I am in a constant fight with my own demons and I'm afraid I might not last any longer. Sometimes I wonder why am I always beating myself down, making myself so fucking miserable. I'm struggling, I'm drowning. I am truly disappointed in myself, I swore not to let it happen (again) but it did happen anyways. I can totally see history repeating itself, a vicious cycle and I think I kind of liked it, if not why would I allow it to happen again! Gosh, why did I put myself into this kind of fucking situation again. I need to go, really. Just run away, for a short while, I need to breathe, I need to think, I need to go. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

646

Image
Hey everyone, Happy New Year! So first few days is all about new year resolutions and that sort of stuff but people very often make unrealistic resolutions which makes making resolutions redundant. I only have one resolution and that is to stay happy. It's not easy to achieve that but I did :)  So this year is so happening, so super happening and yes it's so much better than the previous year (in your face twozeroonezero)  2010 Dec  Two new additions on Feb 2011!  KOI Clementi  ♥ Love these people!  Our usual k-session after a long day! Now that I'd left, I miss them so much!   Water Sapiens   ♥ Chinese New Year NTU Swimathon!  Eddy's Model Search Love the girls   ♥  Also I took part in my first Biathlon ever. Biathlon is like a marathon but it's consists of both swimming and running component!   Singapore Biathlon 2011 Now these people I am so super glad to have them in my life  Dive khakis!
Read more

Connect

My job satisfaction not only comes from see ing my patients get well, but also it comes from their smiles, every "thank you", every touch. It comes from all the relationships I'm building with my fellow colleagues too. Getting to know someone can be tedious but I'd learned that all that hard work is worth it. I think this is why we meet people in our lives, some we meet are blessings, others as lessons we learned too late. For the better or worse, I think our very presence in someone else's life can be life changing enough. We engage and connect in various depth and how can two different beings not affect each other's thoughts and perceptions. & its two ways. Love, connection and trust between people goes both ways. Closed minded and closed hearted people cannot gain from those around them, and only with an open heart & mind can we truly be free and gain in life. My personal success is measured by the amount of people's life I've touched and
Read more

POTATOES

Image
DO YOU LOVE POTATOES???? I KNOW I DO!  POTATO LOVERS IN THE WHOLE WORLD UNITE FOR THIS POTATO WORSHIP ENTRY. HOW VERSATILE CAN POTATOES BE...... ALL SHAPES AND SIZES, SOFT OR HARD, HEALTHY OR UNHEALTHY, DRY OR WET, FOR THE OLD OR YOUNG, FIT OR UNFIT, POTATOES ARE PERFECT AND NO MATTER WHAT,  POTATOES STILL TASTE AWESOME!! WELL HERE WE GO. MASH POTATOES BAKED POTATOES BOILED POTATOES FRIED POTATOES STRAIGHT CUT FRIES  CRISS CROSS FRIES CURLY FRIES SMILEY FRIES HASHBROWNS ROSTI GRATIN  POTATO SALAD POTATO CHIPS POTATO CAKES ... .. . ALRIGHTY... DONT ALL OF THE ABOVE MAKES YOUR MOUTH SALIVATE?  I'm a huge fan of potatoes and I would kill for them, literally. Potatoes is a good source of Carbohydrates and the starch will get converted to the energy you need for the day! Any potato lover know that the right amount of potatoes would do us some good but too much of them, you're gonna end up look
Read more